Stories
Humphrey Dumpy
Well I start filming in a couple of weeks so I haven't had much time to write, so instead of some more Jimmy here is a little short story to bring out a smile and tug your heart strings.
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Humphrey Dumpy
Alice hears someone crying. She climbs a flight of stairs to a balcony. Sitting in the window ledge is a little fat boy. He has folds of skin on his face and piggy eyes. His legs are dangling out the window. He is not very old, perhaps he has lived nine years. There is a nervous breeze in the air, and a high altitude chill. The ground is miles below.
Alice feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Her heart starts to beat faster even though she knows she must keep calm.
She is very gentle with him when she says, “hey”. He does not look up. So she tries again, “hey, why are you crying?”
The fat little boy looks at the ground below, “It’s very provoking,” he says with a rolly voice.
Alice smiles at him, “it’s not very safe out there,” she remarks.
The little boy does not hear her, “some people have no more sense than a baby,” he declares before wiping his nose on his sleeve.
Alice tries a little harder, “why do you sit up there alone?”
“Because there is no-one with me.”
“You really should come down.”
When he breaths it is heavy. The sun shines in the sky, real breakfast with bacon. The fat little boy looks into it for a while and then says, “do you think that I look like an egg?”
There is no getting away from the fact that he does. Alice is not one of these people who believes that lying to someone is good therapy. On the contrary, it is important to exercise honesty at all times. Truth is only terrible if you view it from one angle. Perception, Alice would always maintain, has multiple meanings, perspectives and interpretations. In the face of adversity once can always be positive. “Some eggs are very pretty and sweet, like Easter Eggs."
The fat little boy’s bones stiffen, this makes his fat wobble, “when I do fall, and I will fall, there will be no-one to pick me and put me back together.”
Alice becomes indignant, she has worked in social services too long to have to pander to such nonsense, “don’t talk like that. Its silly. Where’s your mummy?”
“She went out.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. Ages ago.”
Alice tries to look out of the window but the little fat boy’s mass obscures the view, “why don’t you come down” she asks.
“Not yet,” he sniffs, “I don’t want to jump yet.”
“Don’t do that”, she snaps. She remembers that she has neglected to ask the most personable of questions and the most important for a time such as now, “what’s your name?”
“Humphrey,” he says. “you can call me Dumpy, everyone else does. I don’t mind.”
“Don’t you have anyone you can play with?”
“No,” he answers sadly. After a pause he adds, “do you have any food?”
Alice does not have any. She is thin as a rake.
“When you’re as big as I am,” the fat boy continues, “you have to eat regular.”
Alice tries to lie, “you’re not big.”
Humphrey becomes very serious, “I’m not afraid you know.”
Alice does not believe him. He is shaking you see.
“I’m not afraid to jump.”
Because she is nervous for him she blurts out, “don’t you think that you are being a little ridiculous?”
This makes the little lardy Humphrey scream, “I AM NOT RIDICULOUS. GO AWAY!” His voice echoes though out the building, all the way to the bottom floor.
Psychologically Alice nails her own feet to the floor. As a social worker she is used to this sort of display. It is not a tantrum. Tantrums are for the spoilt and there is nothing spoilt about this boy.
“I said GOOO AAAWAAAAY!” He begins to wheeze and his cheeks become blotchy. “If you don’t go away I will jump.”
“Why do you want to jump?
“Because I am fat.”
“That’s a reason to jump?”
Humphrey’s heart almost bursts, “yes it is. Look at me.”
“Have you tried eating less.”
“And throwing it up too, mummy held me upside down until I couldn’t bring up any more.”
Alice looks at him, “well what about exercise?”.
“It was a long way up here. I had to rest a couple of times. I’m also very short.”
Short and fat, thought Alice, that is a bit of a problem but she asks “do you get bullied?”
“Yes.”
Alice tries the old fashioned ‘pull your socks up approach’, “well, I know that life must be very hard for you, but you must realise that there are a lot more people who are worse off than you. Life could be much worse.”
“Suffering is relative,” answers Humphrey.
Alice is taken aback, “is it?”
“Of course it is. At the moment I am experiencing the most unbelievable inner torment. You have no idea what is like to hate yourself. I want one thing but my body… Have you got any chocolate?”
“I don’t think that chocolate is going to make you feel any better,” answers Alice. “I should think that once you’ve finished it you’ll feel much worse. Abstinence is hard but it’ll make you feel much better in the long run.”
“I’ve thought about having surgery,” declares Humphrey, “but Mummy can’t afford it. At least she says she can’t, it’s on account that I haven’t got a daddy.”
“What happened to your daddy?”
“He ran away when he saw me.”
“Oh, now I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is. 'An irresponsible cunt', that’s what mummy calls him. What’s a cunt?”
Alice does not know what to say. Children pick up all sorts of things from their parents –
“Mummy says it’s a small hole, between her legs what I came out of,” there was no stopping Humphrey, “but I don’t believe her.”
“Why,” asks Alice fearing the answer.
“Look at the size of me!”
After a long silence Alice told him that he wasn’t always that size.
“Yes I was,” he says resolutely.
“Don’t be silly, Humphrey.”
“I’MMM NNOT SILLY RRRR!”
“Calm down you might fall.”
“I WANT TO FALL!!!”
“No you don’t.”
“Do you know what they sing about me at school,” he snaps?
“No.”
“Humphrey Dumpy sat on a wall
Humphrey Dumpy had a great fall
And all the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn’t put Humphrey together again.”
Alice feels heart swell, “that’s not very nice.”
“I’ve got the bruises to prove it. Look.” He lifts up his shirt. His stomach and back are black and blue.
Alice bites her lip, “where did you get those Humphrey?”
“I don’t know, I just did that’s all.”
“Are you scared that whoever did this might come after you, if you tell on them, I mean?”
Little fat Humphrey becomes deadly serious, “I’m not scared of anyone.”
She is quiet with a sadness for a while. “Have you told anyone else about those bruises?”
“No.”
“Why not?” The building surrounding them is old, harsh, red brick.
His podgy bottom lip sticks out, “I’m telling you,” he says.
She looks at him for a little bit, “Humphrey, who hit you?”
“No-one.”
Humphrey looks ahead of himself, out towards the clear blue horizon. They share a silent minute together.
“What’s your name,” he asks?
“Alice.”
For a moment he does not say anything. “Alice,” he asks finally?
She begins to feel like a mother, not a social worker. “Yes?”
“I don’t want to be fat anymore.”
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.