F**king With Jimmy (A Kung Fu Tale About A Man With No Arms)

Fucking-with-jimmy.gif This little tale began life as I was bemoaning something to my agent. I had just come back from working with Sharman Networks, in Sydney, on a big Kazaa project. The project, Day of Dreams, was fated to never happen because the record and film companies started to sue Sharman for breaching copywright - anyway, my friend Mat Fraser, who shares the same agent, was dissatisfied too and declared that he wanted to star in a kung fu movie. The problem is that he has short arms. Well the long and the short of it is that I went away and wrote a screenplay which has now been optioned. Here is the first chapter of the novel I am writing based on that screen play. As the weeks go by I will add a bit more, a chapter here and a chapter there.

January 02, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 1 :: Get Ready For The End

The Dockland square is in mid summer. The heat has softened the tarmac giving it an unhealthy shine onto which the wind has blown brown dust rather like a model’s foundation. Its not lazy hot, just quiet. Clouds move across the sun. There is a spiders web is in a doorway. It has an elastic bounce.

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January 12, 2006

SEALBOY Chapter 2 :: Love Is All Cuts And Kicks

The sun is Asiatic sunset red, a Japanese flag. It is big, heavenly so and hot as dusk hell. The pollution, an angelic opiate, dashes the horizon with a crest of orange under which London, from the top of...

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F**king With Jimmy Chapter 3 :: The Butterfly Effect

A group of men enter the Wolf and Whistle pub. They have short neat hair, some close crop, others have a wave. An old woman laughs, her laugh is big like her hair. Her reflection in the bar mirror...

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January 19, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 4 :: Despair

This is a short interlude before we get on to the true meat of this story. To move on we need to pause and take in the true depth of despair that Jimmy and Lu find themselves in having...

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January 30, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 5 :: The Trinity Makes Sense If It Is Four

I didn't think that I would get this chapter out as I've been up to my eyeballs with other stuff. Anyway, here is chapter five - no kung fu though, enjoy. Laters. Xav Some people lead exciting lives, don’t...

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February 02, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 6 :: Dali Draws

A while back two hands clapped together into a handshake. They were in a warehouse. It was large. Dust caught the light. The atmosphere in that room was pure asbestos. “Hello, Charlie,” said Arthur. “My name’s, Arthur.” Arthur’s hand...

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February 10, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 7 :: In This Very Second

Little Lola Lovett is sitting next to Barry and his friend Judy. Judy is a woman with insight, you can tell by the rings on her fingers. Gold inset with stones, not precious, enriched, although more uranium than healing....

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February 14, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 8 :: Slovenian Snow

“You know, I don’t know what’s real.” Charlie was being watched by the young girl with big brown eyes. He was talking to Arthur. The young girl was the same terrified child who was delivered into Charlie’s hands a...

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February 19, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 9 :: The Ring

Barry has coughed his drink down his shirt. He is sitting next to Lola. The little girl sits quietly besides this big man. She is scared by his snarling. She hasn’t touched her coke with ice and lemon. This...

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March 05, 2006

F**king with Jimmy :: Entire Story So Far

You can download a PDF of the first 9 chapters of "Fucking With Jimmy" here. Download file If you want to read it online just press the novels button above....

March 13, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 10 :: Arthur pt 1

I've been mighty busy getting my movie together so I haven't had much time to write. Here is the first part of chapter 10. Hopefully I will get a bit more time to do a little more work later...

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April 07, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 10 :: Arthur pt 1 and 2

Here is some more of chapter 10. Yep not finished it yet. Very much work in progress. I've put the first bit in too which I posted last week, saves you scolling down... 10 Arthur At this moment in...

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April 19, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 10 :: Arthur pt 3

Hello, how's it going? It's been crazy busy with this film - which is going very well, very special cast and a super talented crew. I wanted to get more of this written, but I get home late and...

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June 13, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 10 :: Arthur pt 4

Here is the last part of Chapter 10 - ain't that just taken an age to put together. Life has a habit of just getting in the way! Chapter 11 is on its way. F**king with Jimmy Chapter 10...

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August 19, 2006

F**king with Jimmy Chapter 11 :: The Witch Doctor

I haven't written any Jimmy for a while. Sometimes it is difficult to find your way back to a story. Chapter 11 - The Witch Doctor White walls scream wicked white bitches. Jimmy all in pain. Screaming white hot...

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August 30, 2006

Fucking with Jimmy Chapter 12 :: Introducing Mrs Windsor

A helicopter’s blades cut the air dizzy, wafting flies over an enormous flamboyant mansion like some excremental joke, blooding up the one hundred paranoid windows. The helicopter nudges down, non to steady on its feet. It is still on...

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September 02, 2006

Fucking with Jimmy Chapter 13 :: The Ring 2

The Ring 2 Sydney’s ring flashes as Rupert lifts a tumbler of whiskey to his lips. Lola is transfixed by it. The ring is a blood red gold. Rupert had admired the ring from the very first day he...

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September 11, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 14 :: Lu's Dream

Here is a short little chapter that follows on quite nicely from the previous one about Lola and her captors. It is time for bed. Should have gone hours ago as I start rehearsing a new show tomorrow. I'll...

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November 23, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 15 :: Moving On

Not done much writing over the last couple of months. I've been busy with a show, getting the edit done on my new feature film, moving house and having a baby! Here is the next bit of Jimmy. Chapter...

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November 27, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 15 pt 2 :: Stuck

Barry is sitting on the edge of his bed. He is in his pants and socks. His pants are white Lycra for support. He is smoking an Embassy Regal. He is raw, diminished. Small. He has a thick gold...

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F**king With Jimmy Chapter 16 :: The Vanishing Room

Jimmy carefully makes his way to the back door of the pub. He tries the door. It is locked. He peers in, there is no movement. He puts his ear to the door and hears nothing. He picks up...

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November 29, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 16.1 :: An Interlude.

Miles speeding in a car is a major source of tension between Barry and his wife. Breaths of silent clean air, as experienced earlier that morning, are few and far between and, more often than not, are immediately polluted...

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November 30, 2006

F**king With Jimmy Chapter 16.3 :: The Vanishing Room

“Tell me," asks Judy, "are ya here now or are you watching this from outside the door?” She has tipped herself forward to watch the naked Cynthia knelt at work on Jimmy with his trousers down, her shot-gun pointed...

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